Thursday, September 30, 2010

Some Days

In a day full of numbing and depressing news, including the senseless death of Rutger's University student Tyler Clementi, this is what came to me.  For obvious reasons, the title is Some Days.

Some days
I wake up in the morning wondering why I woke.
Some days
My breakfast is disturbed by news of death, destruction and devastation.
Some days
I go to work despairing over whether the money I earn will ever be enough.
Some days
My lunch time is consumed by worry over the safety of my family and friends.
Some days
I spend the afternoon thinking that my life will never turn out the the way I'd like.
Some days
I go home, look into the faces of my children, and know I am blessed.
Some days
As I sit at the dinner table I know that I am fortunate to have enough to eat.
Some days
I go to bed safe in the knowledge that I am surrounded by those who care about me.
Some days
I realize that I am lucky to be alive.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Sex and the (U.S.) Cities


Are you sexually satisfied? Strange question to ask on a blog? Maybe. Men's Health magazine, though, has asked it's readers, and they have now released the results of their survey.  A list of the most, and least, sexually satisfied cities now graces their website. You can read all about the strict scientific methods used to conduct this scintillating (not to mention titillating) piece of research over at their site, but here's the gist of the list:

 Most sexually satisfied cities in the U.S.
  1. Indianapolis, IN
  2. Columbus, OH
  3. Fort Wayne, IN
  4. Cincinnati, OH
  5. Salt Lake City, UT
  6. San Antonio, TX
  7. Denver, CO
  8. Austin, TX
  9. Boise City, ID
  10. Chicago, IL

Least sexually satisfied cities in the U.S.
  1. Lexington, KY
  2. Birmingham, AL
  3. Manchester, NH
  4. Yonkers, NY
  5. Montgomery, AL
  6. Newark, NJ
  7. Providence, RI
  8. Jersey City, NJ
  9. Greensboro, NC
  10. Jacksonville, FL

Are you wondering how in hell your city didn't make the list?  Or do you have a self-satisfied smirk on your face because your reside in Indianapolis, IN, which apparently does a lot of revving up of engines outside the Indy 500?

While you and I (and a lot of others as well) may scoff at the validity and reliability of such "research", I couldn't help but think of all the excellent practical uses for a list like this.  So I'm including my own list below of just a few suggestions of ways in which the Men's Health list could be invaluable.

1.  Jerry Springer and his producers could tape an entire bloc of shows in each city.

2.  A great reference tool for a chain of adult novelty stores looking to expand.

3.  Good vacation planning guide for the singles.

4. Jay Leno could conduct excellent "Man on the Street" interviews, asking citizens of each city how they
    felt about their inclusion on the list.

5.  Family planning clinics can see where their services are most needed.

6.  Parents with teens could use the list as a guide for where NOT to move.

7.  College students can find the ideal spot to spend their spring break.

8.  Companies that manufacture male enhancement products will see the best places to send their sales

9.  Prospective madams and sex therapists alike can find the ideal city in which to set up a new practice.

10.  The Republican and Democratic National Committees can refer to the list when planning their

So, the moral of the story is that every piece of research, no matter how silly it may seem, has it's uses. And please feel free to leave any other uses you can think of in the comments.