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Memories of you fill hazy spring skies.
I hear your lingering voice when birds sing.
Always you're there in your daughter's brown eyes.
When she speaks, your quiet, laughing tones ring.
As family gathers, you're at our side
with all the warm, happy feelings you bring.
Through life's ups and downs, you'll be my best friend
Brothers and sisters endure to the end.
Written in memory of my brother and shared with One Stop Poetry for Form Monday which, for today, is ottava rima.
12 comments:
nice piece of work. I can only wish my sister and I had been so close but we chose different paths early in life. thanks for expressing so well. . .
A defining tribute to a lost, beloved sister. Having her daughter must keep her close indeed and bring time constantly in focus.
This is a brilliant use of ottava rima written naturally and without affectation. Well done, Gay
A lovely heartbreaking tribute to a beloved sister. Sad..I am sorry.
she sounded to be so very special ~ so sorry ~ but in her daughter some memories recalled ~ as Gay says this must keep her close ~ thankyou for sharing with us ~ Lib
I'm very sorry for your loss.Unfortunately in your poem i don't feel a true emotion or real love;just flat words, no warmth.Too cold.
I'm speaking my mind and i guess it's what you want.Flattery is useless if you want to progress.I hope you understand what i mean.
Matt
Thanks to everyone for the nice comments about this. My brother meant a lot to me and still does.
Matt,
I know what you mean. I keep finding it rather odd, though, that everyone else seems to see and feel the emotion in my poems and you don't.
Very beautiful indeed.. Lovely tribute!
Hugs xx
I read your poem and feel a bit like the person called Matt : something is amiss.Probably not easy to express feelings sometimes.Take it easy anyway.Otherwise it's pointless to ask a comment.Our world would be boring if everybody had the same opinion and wouldn't evolve.
Debby
Your poem captures the heart of the reader - the deep sense of loss, remembered joy and sharing with the next generation. Fine memories indeed.
Debby,
Thanks for commenting. I love hearing opinions. All of them. Matt seems to tell me the same thing every time he comments and his writing is similar to someone who has aggravated me on Twitter. If he's not the same one, then I owe him an apology. Feel free to comment any time you want.
Eileen,
Apologies accepted even if i'm a bit vexed:I'm NOT the one who aggravated you on twitter.I'd never tease or bully anybody.I'm a literature teacher at uni.A term is devoted to poetry reason why i allowed myself to give you my opinion twice.I just tried to be useful but if you don't want any help,fair enough.Good luck.
Matt
Matt,
Not at all. As I've said, I appreciate all opinions. And I'm flattered that a lit teacher would give an opinion here.
It's difficult to know sometimes online who does what and for what reasons. My apology stands and I hope you'll visit again.
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